Lessions
by Dummy Perception
Summary: You only know it's over when you're only in love with the memories, but no longer with the one in front of you. My first Shoujo-ai. Onesided Neru/Luka, 'cause I know they're never meant to be...


You just got indirectly rejected.

You felt like that when you learned of the news of them finally dating.

Because you thought she said that she didn't want him.

She didn't want him.

You didn't like him.

Because you don't like men anymore.

And it hurt to suddenly know about them finally dating.

And made it a lot harder for you to confess.

* * *

You don't remember how or when you started having those feelings for her. You used to like her. You used to like her a lot to do what she says.

You liked her enough to stand being near her, even in the middle of strangers you don't know.

You liked her enough to let yourself do her assignments for her.

You liked her enough to bear waiting for a few minutes more after your own school club activities, just so you could walk home together.

You liked her enough to walk a little further than home just so you could continue talking with her, even if she's the only one that talks.

Even if it's about the boy she was currently dating.

Atleast each week it's a different boy.

You're aware that you're best friends with one of the popular people in school.

Even if she had other 'best friends'.

Even if she dumps you for them sometimes.

You used to not mind about her dating different boys each time. It's her life anyways, you always said to yourself. And even if it takes most of your time, you labor about writing her essays, you help her construct her projects (even if you do most of the work), and most of all, you don't mind getting dumped for her other friends, even at the time you're supposed to hang out together that was planned weeks before.

All because you have straight A's to maintain.

Of course, she wasn't the only one friend in your life. You had one when you were in kindergarten. You had some more in elementary and junior high. And then her in high school.

* * *

You couldn't help it; because of your parents, you had to move schools. Well atleast you didn't have to move around that much. Atleast you were steady when you reached high school, so you graduated from the same place you came in.

And you get a scholarship at a prestigious university...

...where none of your classmates could afford to go in. And even if they had the means to, passing the entrance exams would bar their way.

It ain't close to what has been your 'hometown' in the past four years (on the other side of the globe).

You couldn't pass up the opportunity of gaining scholarship and learning more things, even at the cost of leaving most of what your life has been.

At first, you had a lot of difficulties with adapting to things. For you, everything was new. Having learned the language at an early age helped a lot. Of course, being so far away, you cannot afford to go home on breaks. Your parents are already struggling enough just to make ends meet. Your older brother goes to college, too.

The first year goes smoothly.

Upon reaching second year, however, things became a little complicated.

You weren't able to come home at all.

And you got to know loneliness more.

Discussing academics with fellow thinkers sure helps in distracting yourself sometimes, but one day you just found them to be mundane.

You stopped coming to classes.

After the semester, you received a warning for academic delinquency.

Your reason: you were depressed, because you and her had a fight, and your morals (like that of the military) started to drop.

In the middle of the following semester, you were reconciled (she was the one that said so)... although you thought it was too late. The damage was done.

You were already failing half of your subjects that time. You didn't actually see the reason why, but you suddenly felt like you just lost your motivation.

You ended up getting dismissed from your college.

And you could not bring yourself to tell your parents.

Not when you knew how they toiled to keep you in there.

Near the end of the vacation, you were able to come home.

To attend a family member's funeral.

For only three days though, because school was starting soon.

And you had to go back to 'prepare'.

Even if there was actually nothing for you to prepare for. But you still came back. Because you cannot tell them how you failed.

And now, you're home again.

Only, it's not YOUR home.

* * *

-2-

You were able to crash at her place.

She allowed you to crash there as long as you share the rent.

* * *

**Hi! This will be a twoshot, or a threeshot, depends on how it wants to be divided. Maybe it gets finished at the end of the week. I feel the need to post it immediately, neverminding the initial mistakes, so I might have a lot of typos. So I can force myself to finish it before starting something else.**

**Leave a feedback, if it doesn't take too much of your time. :)**


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